I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
