So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
