Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
