You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
