I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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