Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
