I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
