and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
