In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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