A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
