Please, let me fuck your mom
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
