what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
