nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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