WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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