she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
