bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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