Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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