It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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