i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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