wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
