How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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