He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
