you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
