i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
