Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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