is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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