Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
