Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
