I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
