I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
