I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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