Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
