i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Randomize
