Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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