just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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