it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
