the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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