Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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