DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
