# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
