do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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