Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish my penis had an off switch
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
