We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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