Duck Duck Cougar?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize