This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
