my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
