The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
