I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
