Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
