He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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