3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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