I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize