So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize