If i come over, it means nothing
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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