when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
