I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
