and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
