You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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