cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
