So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize