This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
