Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
