In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
